Monday, June 23, 2025

NAAZHIGAI Part 10— Love in the Last Frame

 They say a naazhigai—a small measure of time—can pass like a whisper or echo like a storm.

That temple evening, it became both.

Partha didn’t speak. He didn’t dare.
But everything he needed to say lived in three quiet cues:

The soft tap of his ring finger on the puja plate—three times.
His eyes drifting toward Anjali, then away. Directional Cues!
And the way he avoided looking at Nithi directly, like shielding him from a spotlight only they could see.

These are not just gestures.
They are code.
His tap is a held breath. His glance is a dodge. His silence is a storm.
And between him and Nithi, every still moment says more than a hundred spoken ones.

In that naazhigai, I watched him change.
The memory hidden in his bones—the promise he’d once made to Partha, and the danger he had willingly taken into himself—it all came rushing back.

That moment didn’t shout.
It pulsed.

And in its silent beat, everything around us… realigned.

Partha had embedded classified information—coordinates, breach codes, encrypted visuals—deep inside Nithi’s subconscious, back when he knew he was being watched.

It couldn’t live on a drive. It couldn’t survive interrogation.
So it had to live in trust—inside someone who didn’t know he carried it.

He chose Nithi not just because he was loyal—but because he believed something rare:

Even if Nithi forgot… even if Partha was beaten, broken, or killed…
Nithi would remember—when it mattered.
And he would save him.

It was a desperate gamble. But that day in the temple, it paid off.

Because the memory didn't just flood back—it activated him.

Within minutes, Nithi identified the infiltrators.
Two men planted near the entrance, one of them armed.
Another trailing Partha’s wife as she stepped outside.

And with that memory came action.

Nithi stepped in. Swift, precise, quiet.
He disarmed the one near Anjali with a single move.
Blocked the second at the corridor.
Sent the third running without ever being seen all within 24 minutes.. 

He didn’t just remember the mission.
He fulfilled it—with the kind of clarity that only comes when you know someone trusted you with their life… and you didn’t fail them.

Some moments don’t tick on clocks.
They breathe—like us.
They stretch, pause, tighten, then disappear…
Like that one Naazhigai when everything changed.

The temple’s warmth felt distant.
Partha was in front of us—draped in silence, eyes flitting toward the lamps, then to Anjali, then to no one at all.

But I wasn’t watching him.

I was watching Nithi.

Not because I doubted him.
Because I knew—if anything went wrong, it would be him who’d pay the price.
Even when he didn’t remember why.

And then it happened.
The way his shoulders straightened.
The sudden alert in his eyes.
Like someone switched the light back on inside him.

“You won’t remember what you know—until the moment it matters most.”

Partha’s voice, months ago.
Back then I thought it was metaphor.
Now I knew it was prophecy.

Partha didn’t react.
He just breathed.
Like a storm inside him had finally sat down to rest.

Later, when the crowd thinned and temple shadows softened into quiet gold, I found Nithi behind the sanctum.

His hands were trembling.

“You okay?” I asked, though I wasn’t.

He looked at me like he knew everything I’d never said out loud.
But all he said was, “I remembered it all. He made me forget—on purpose. But I asked him to. Back then.”

I didn’t ask what it was.
I just sat beside him.
He turned his palm upward.
I placed mine over it—gently.

That moment didn’t need a name.
It just… was.

Vicks stood far behind us, out of earshot.
He wasn’t watching the temple.
He was watching me.

And I felt it.

Everything Vicks had done—
—decoding Partha’s signal,
—chasing a lead with Maya into Sriharikota alone,
—risking arrest to break into the event pass system,
—even flying out without telling his parents—

None of it was for Nithi.
Not really.

It was for me.
To keep me from breaking if something happened to Nithi.
To make sure I wouldn't lose him—even if I never admitted what he meant to me.

Some love doesn’t burn loud.
It waits.

And protects… Even when it knows it might never be called upon.

That unshrouded affection he carried like a notebook with no pages written, only bookmarked.

When our eyes met, he smiled like he always did—with too much kindness and not enough claim.

That night, I understood:

Some of us hold silence the way the Earth holds gravity—
unseen, but anchoring everything.
We pull tides, carry weight, bear seasons without protest.

Some shine like the Sun—
bright, burning, always a little too far to touch,
but impossible to forget.

And some stay like the Moon—
never loud, never seeking,
but always there when darkness falls.

They don’t need to be named.
But we feel them around us.
And we know they orbit us,
in their own time, in their own way.

The Last Frame

Maya found an old camera lying in Partha’s study.
She joked that we should “freeze the story before we all run off to forget it.”

The photo came back in a simple black frame.
We hung it on the wall above Anjali’s books.

In it, Maya’s adjusting her lens.
Vicks is blurred, just behind me—caught mid-smile.
Partha is leaning toward Anjali, peaceful at last.

And Nithi is beside me.
Our hands almost touching.
Not quite.

I didn’t call out. I didn’t scream. I just stood still— the kind of stillness that holds galaxies.

The kind of moment you don’t try to hold onto, but frame quietly in your heart—because you know it will ache…and glow…for a very long time.

No matter how far we go from here, something of us will always remain—
in that one Naazhigai where everything felt possible, even if only for a breath.

And if there’s one thing I’ve come to believe—

Some people are meant to stay in your life.
And some… are meant to stay in your dreams.

And sometimes—
dreams are what give you the reason to live,
not just survive.
Because even with all its ache,

Life is beautiful!! 

Friday, June 30, 2023

ஹைக்கூ கிறுக்கல்கள்-பாகம் 3

Udaindha idhayam 

Udayaadha kaadhal

Malarum ninaivugal

Malaraadha nijangal

Kelaayo Kanmaniye


Ninaivil maruviya modhal

Kanavil kaaviya kadhal

Kelaayo Kanmaniye


Kan thedi

Kai theendi

Viral korthu 

Naan irukiren

Naan irupen 

Eninum

Karaindhu pona 

Siriya uravu

Maraindhu pona

Periya kanavu

Kelaayo Kanmaniye 


Ethu enadhu

Ethu unadhu

Ariyaamal

Namadhai karaindha

Kaalangal

Kelaayo Kannmaniye


Vizhi aada

Uraiyaada

Kadallodu 

Mannukul sendra 

Azhagiya

Kaadhal Alaigal

Keelayo Kanmaniye 


Aanandham 

Pirandha 

Naatkal

Kavalaigal

Irandha

Naatkal

Pirapum 

Irappum

Iruvarum

Serndhu 

Sandhitha

Naatkal

Keelayo Kanmaniye


Isai uruvaaga

Isaiyin uruvaga 

Ne aaga

Isaiye Ne Aaga

Isai engum Aaga

Ne engum Aaga

Kelaayo Kanmaniye


Kaatrodu 

Inaindhu

Ulagathudan

Urundu

Megathudan

Soolndhu

Inaindhe Valvom

Seramal 

Ponalum

Kelaayo Kanmaniye 


Saturday, July 11, 2020

Life is a sailing boat


You are all alone in a vast sea, you're lost, your boat is about to sink,  you close your eyes and see a beautiful serene island in a near distance. As you progress closer you see the one most important person you have longed for in life throughout. A little push, a wind or a corrected sail could get you there. Will you give it a try? You open your eyes, pray to God someday He will land you in that island of life with your favorite person and give your last attempt before you die. That is what is called sheer confidence in life. Life is like a sailing ship, you control the sail, but it's God who is going to control the wind and take you to the place where you are meant to be.

When we “trim” and “tack”, do we progress on the water—and in life. We cannot stop where the wind blows, but we can adjust the sails—that is, our words and actions that catch the wind.
“Catching the wind” also implies catching the Spirit who empowers and directs us. Letting go and letting God take control is hard to do. But if left to our own destructive devices, we can shipwreck things. “Shipwrecks” (plans that go awry) are newsworthy and regrettable; By contrast, smooth sailing and calm seas pass by without notice or comment. Such good fortune is welcome—but not normative, not for long. In sailing, as in life, we get somewhere only by the active force of wind and waves.
Sadly, some are not willing or able when that moment comes—like Jonah, the prophet. Called to reach the Ninevites (the dreaded menace of ancient Israel), he boards a ship going the opposite direction, to Tarshish (Spain) instead of Nineveh (Syria). As the story goes, God whips up a storm to sink the ship and relents only when the shipmates discover Jonah hiding below deck; he is the unwarranted excess baggage that must be tossed overboard to save the ship. Likewise, God will use storms to re-route you. Being “all shipshape with no place to go”—that’s another problem. If too much baggage weighs you down, then you are beached and change is not possible. Whatever weighs heavy on your mind or drags in the water—e.g., nagging memories that shame and condemn—don’t let them rock your boat or impede your progress. Even if your boat is otherwise seaworthy, something about your past may have to be jettisoned.
Trying to feel lighter, just contemplating the application of this life-as-sailing metaphor. This 2020, we all do have, faith-full adventures at sea. Hope on board. Anchors away.

Friday, December 21, 2018

Karma


“Sometimes you know something’s not going right, but you can never regret or go back to your past. You have to realize your own contingency, but that’s not the end of it; it’s merely the means towards moving forward, towards what?“
 “Nannmaiyum theemaiyum pirar thara vaaraa” Get out of what’s bothering you, fight like a Phoenix; people will hurt you, rise from the ashes. You deserve what you deserve, you pay for your sins, you get paid for the good. So do others, always give love to others, you will get the same back.
Life as fear and hatred is not real life at all. Overcome fear, hatred, hurt and guilt, realize yourselves, love yourselves, apologize. After all this is all Karma coming back.
You never know what worse luck, bad luck has saved you from. We finally understand life is finding a cause to survive, a reason not to die – not yet. It is youth and old age, with everything in between. Overall, life is beautiful, even if it’s not just try to make it.
To all those who really meant to me, thank you so much for making my life so far good
To all those whom I missed in life, you are being truly missed
To all those I’ve hurt, a big bag of apologies
Way to end 2018…For the new horizons in 2019. God bless!


Monday, March 28, 2016

NAAZHIGAI Part 9


Maya: Nithi what did you decode?

Nithi: Excuse me Teacher Mam, if I had known that I wouldn’t be here now

Prathi: Let’s devise a plan before we meet Partha.

Vicks: Yes, but how? None of us are scientists, how would we be authorized to even enter the SDSC?

Nithi: Whose ID would take us in? Vicks and I are ruled out, Maya either, Krish………

Vicks: His entry is restricted too. I guess Prathi and Subhu can

Prathi: Ahem what are we? CNN, IBN? We can’t too.

Me: If we can’t go in, we will make him come out. We just need his number to contact him and bring him out

Prathi: But how do we get his number?

Krish: Pulling data of an SDSC scientist isn’t that easy, maybe we could but it may take days, We don’t have that much time in our plan, do we?

Vicks: Don’t worry, Nithi has a fan base around the globe remember?

I stared at Nithi; he gave his innocent puppy look saying No I didn’t do anything…

Vicks: There was a girl in the registration desk who was very friendly with him; if he talks with the girl he can get even the numbers of all the participants.

Nithi: I’m not doing it

Prathi: Vicks, if the success rate is cent percent we are making him do it.

I was like “what’s going on, Nithi say no say no say no” through my eyes

Nithi: For the good of whatever is going on, I’ll do it

He said that seeing my eyes and I nodded as if I was hypnotized. He got Partha’s number in less than 6 minutes. We tried contacting him but it was directed to voicemail. Nithi left a voicemail saying that “Partha, Post your interest for Vishesha Puja, you have been blessed with 7 Keerthanas Abhishekam at the Shivan Temple in Irukkam Island. The Archana commences by offering dhupa (arti stick) and dipa (lit the lamp) to the main deity, followed by reciting the divine names (108) of the Lord. While uttering each name of the Lord, one golden lotus is offered at the holy feet of the lord. On completion, Archana is offered to Lord Shiva. This is Nithi, the special puja co-ordinator. Do bring your SOUL AND SPIRIT for the divine moments. For more details contact 9949487758.

Maya: arey yaar, bhagvan ka naam par joot math bolo

Me: What’s happening???

Vicky: Nithi, How many fingers is this? Are you steady?

Prathi: Good move, Nithi. Hope he hears till the end of the message to know you are talking.

Vicks: Ok now, we’ll try calling him from different numbers to avoid getting him into trouble. Krish and I will look for his address, Maya you are really gonna arrange for a pooja to happen. Prathi and Subhu will take a look at the temple and its surroundings to avoid chaos. Nithi you learn to fix a better meeting place the next time

Me: Vicks, what if we don’t get to see him at all?

Prathi: I’ve already painted a picture on how he’s gonna be and I can’t give up without knowing if that’s right. I have never seen a good looking scientist in my life.

Me: Prathi! Really?

Prathi: Just kidding ra, let’s have hope. I know it’s serious cinema.

Krish: I guess I got a hit on his location. It’s few miles from here, guess we should start moving. Pack ur defense bags and Subhu we are waiting to see you girls in action
We took the jeep and were following the commands of the GPS navigation; all started laughing, as Nithi had customized the GPS voice to mine

Me: Okay fine, Nithi. Are you happy now?

Nithi: Only if you are Soops<3

We reached Partha’s place. He was playing with his daughter who was 5years old. He acted as if he couldn’t recognize Nithi. He asked us, how he might help. He was smart, but we were sure that he was trying to avoid us.

Nithi: Partha!

Partha: Yes sir, how may I help you?

Nithi: Don’t you remember me? Why are you acting weird? We’ve come to help

Partha: Sorry I can’t understand the context on what you are talking, by the way what’s your name please, and who are you?

Maya whispered to me: Now this guy forgot everything or what?

Me: Hush, Maya

Nithi: Sorry we are from Tamilnadu, guess we’d got the wrong guy!

Partha: Mention not, I guess I smell gas inside, give me a minute!

The baby girl was playing with the blue ball in the lawn and got attached to Prathi.

Prathi: What’s your name dear?

Baby girl: Anjali

Prathi: Where’s mom?

Anjali: A few days back, Mommy went out and didn’t come back.

Prathi: I’m so sorry dear, She will be back soon, wish to have some toys? Here’s a walkie talkie

Anjali: Daddy warned me yesterday I shouldn’t get anything from new people!

Partha: Sorry guys, it is evening and I have a pooja arranged in my name, I have to leave!

We stared at each other, it was obvious that there is something wrong with him, he is under serious trouble, we were able to guess that the bad guys took his wife away and has demanded for surrender. He was asking us to meet him in the temple as his house was bugged. We went to the temple as planned for a second meet. Krish stayed back to see the activity in his house.

We got into the car for the temple. The team discussed on how we are gonna execute the plan. Nithi made concentric circles in a paper around a dot. He said the dot was Partha and within the first circle he placed me, Prathi and Maya. In the second circle he placed himself and Vicks. In the last circle was Krish and outside the circles he said is our family. The plan was perfect the way he had thought about it. Obviously he is a creative head. I plugged in my head phones and was gazing through the car window, as it played

Kaathal Kondaen Kanavinai Valarthen
Kanmani Unai Naan Karuthinil Niraithen
Unakke Uyiraanen Ennaalum Enai Nee Maravaathey
Nee Illaamal Ethu Nimmathi
Neethaane En Sannithi
Kanne Kalaimaane Kanni Mayil Ena
Kandaen Unai Naane
Anthi Pagal Unnai Naan Paarkiraen
Aandavanai Ithaithaan Kaetkiraen
Raariraarø.. Oaraarirø..
Raariraarø.. Oaraarirø..

I dint recognize that I fell asleep as the song had some magic, besides there was weariness as we dint sleep for days together. I fell on Prathi’s shoulders. I woke up on the final brake at the temple.

Nithi: Do you need a bed Subhu?

Me: What?? Stop making fun Nithi!

We entered the temple; Anjali was dressed in a pretty white silk traditional gown. She prayed aloud asking God to bring her mum back. As per the plan, Maya organized the puja in a perfect way, Prathi and I were with her, in front of the diety and Vicks and Nithi were going around the navagrahas ‘n’ times while they also had an eye on us. Partha had his eyes closed and was deep in prayer; Anjali used this to her advantage and came to Prathi’s lap after they exchanged smiles.

We were connected over Bluetooth earphones.

Nithi hissed: Subhu

Me: Haanji!!

Nithi: Watch for his fingers in his lap, he might be transmitting

Me: Transmitting what?

Maya shouted Arey Bhagvan! Wake up!

Prathi signaled to me, Codes!!

Me: Ohh Ok Ok..

Nithi taught me Signals and Systems in college. That was the one subject I hated and failed during my unit tests, though Nithi came to my rescue and helped me score a decent pass mark in the finals.
Maya noted down all that Partha was “transmitting”

To be continued……




















Saturday, February 27, 2016

ஹைக்கூ கிறுக்கல்கள்-பாகம் 2

காதல் தோல்வி:
இன்று எனக்கு திதி
யார் சொன்னது மூச்சு நின்றால் தான்
 மரணம்  என்று

அண்ணன்:
தென்னங்கீற்றில் பின்னல் கற்று
பின்னினேன் இரட்டை ஜடை
பாவை இவள் விரல் கொண்டு
பின்னல் ஜடை பார்க்கும் அழகு
கண் போன தங்கை அவள்
என் தாய் பெற்ற என் தங்கம் அவள்

உன் விழிகள் :
கோடிக் கம்பன் குடியிருக்கும்
நூலகமாய் உன் விழிகள்
தேடித் தேடி தினம் படிக்கும்
வாசகனாய் என் விழிகள்

முள்ளும் கல்லும்:
அன்பை மட்டுமே எதிர்பார்த்திருந்தேன் மனதில் குத்தினாய் முள்ளாய்
உன்மேல் பழி வேண்டாமென்று என்னெஞ்சை ஆக்கினேன் கல்லாய்

கோபம்:
அன்னை தெரசாவின்
கோபம் கருணையில்
இருக்கிறது.!
அப்துல் கலாமின்
கோபம் அக்கினிச் சிறகுகளில்
இருக்கிறது.!
பாரதியின்
கோபம் கவியில்
இருக்கிறது.!
என் கோபம்
என் மௌனத்தில்
இருக்கிறது.!

நொடிகள்:
நான் : நினைவிருகின்றதா, அன்று ஒரு நாள்.......
நீ: ஊன்னுடன் இருந்த ஒவ்வொரு நொடியும் நினைவிருகின்றது, என்னவென்று சொல்


கணவன் மனைவி :
பெண்கள் பலர் உதட்டு சாயம் பூச
நான் புன்னகையே உதட்டு சாயமாய் பூசினேன்
நமக்குள் சண்டை வரும் பொழுது
குழந்தை சொன்னது
நானும் வரேன்ப்பா அம்மாக்கூட விளையாட

பௌர்ணமி :
பொட்டிக்குள் அடைக்கபடாத விதவை
தேய்ந்தாலும் வளர்ந்துவிடும் சுதந்திரம்

மணப்பெண்ணும் தந்தையும் :
என்னை விட்டு பிரிந்து சென்றால்,
தயவுசெய்து அழுது விடதே,
உன் பிரிவால் ஏற்படும் வலியை விட,
உன் கண்ணீரால் ஏற்படும் காயங்கள்தான் அதிகம்

லஞ்சம்:
லஞ்சத்தின் பிறப்பிடம் இலவசம்

Tuesday, December 22, 2015

ஹைக்கூ கிறுக்கல்கள்-பாகம் 1


பெண்கள்:
தீப்பெட்டிக்குள்   அடைக்கப்பட்ட தீக்குச்சிகள் 

காணிக்கை:
எப்படியும் விடிய போகும் இரவிற்கு 
கடவுளுக்கு கொடுக்கப்படும் லஞ்சம் 

கடற்கரை மணல்:
குழந்தையின் மணல் துகள் குவியலில் 
முதல் கனவு வீடை கட்டும் அப்பா 

நாணம்:
நீ இமை மூடும் போது எனக்கு ஏற்பட்ட மின்வெட்டு 
நாணம் என் ஊனம் ஆனது 
பிரம்மனின்  பிழை 

வெப்பம்:
அழகாய் தோன்றி 
அமைதியாய் மறைகிறாய் 
நடுவில் ஏன்  இந்த ஆரவாரம் 

தொலைவு:
இரக்கமற்ற தொலைவு 
உறக்கமற்ற இரவுகள் 
முதியோர் இல்லத்தில் தாய் 

தேடல்:
கற்றது ஒன்னேமுக்கால் 
பெருவது ரெண்டேமுக்கால் 
வரதட்சனை  வேட்கையில் 
வருங்கால வாலிபர்கள் 

தாஜ்மகால்:
மனைவி இறந்தற்காக கணவன் கட்டிய வெள்ளை புடவை

வறுமை:
சட்டைக்கு கஞ்சிப்போட்டேன் எதிரே பசியோடு ஏழைச் சிறுவன்!

சிறை:
என் இதயத்தை திருடியது நீ 
சிறைபட்டேன் உன் புன்னகைக்கு கைதியாய்

முத்து :
உன் பெயரைக் கடற்கரை மணலில் எழுதினேன் 
அலை அடித்து சென்றது முத்து கடலுக்கே  சொந்தமாம் 

பந்தயம்: 
பக்கம் பக்கமாய் பேச நினைக்கிறேன் 
ஆனால் உன் ஆருகில் சென்றபின் 
முந்திக்கொண்டு ஜெய்த்தது மௌனமே

அலுவலகம் :
இரு கண்கள் கண்ட கனவை 
பல கண்கள் நிறைவேற்றும் கூடு 

நிழல்:
நிழலை கண்டு பயந்தேன் சிறு வயதில் 
இன்று நானே மாறினேன் நிஜமில்லாத நிழலாய்

வறுமையில் இன்றைய இளைஞன் :
பாரதியுடன் வறுமையில் துணை நின்ற 
செல்லம்மாவின் திருமண வயது ஏழு
இன்று செல்லம்மாக்கள்  இல்லை 
ஆனால் பாரதிகள்  உண்டு