Gift of the Decade

The work of Malinowski and Sahlins suggests a relationship between the closeness of social relationships and the purity of the gift. But I have wondered which gifts are most likely to succeed – and to fail? Who gets more anxious about gift buying, men or women? What gifts do they like, Material or experiences? As far as I perceive, we give gifts...

·         To show contemplation, love and regard. A simple gift that comes candidly from the heart will certainly be acknowledged

·         To present a gift of laughter. Imagine the happiness of a kid who would smile at a simple gift.

·         To sincerely express thanksgiving. We thank God for his perfect gift of life; for the blessings that we have received and will receive in the future; and I believe this is the reason we donate  in temples and churches

·         Ultimately to make the receiver feel special/thrilled without expectations of returns

Here are three thumb rules for giving gifts: 

1. A gift must be appropriate and relevant to the person.
2. Always go for anything handmade but ensure it’s versatile too.
3. Gifts should be memorable, need not be expensive. 

Some uncommon yet thoughtful gifts you can give to your loved ones

1. Handmade Journal with a Little Pen
2. Handwritten letter. Let your heart talk.
3. A small sapling/ A seed of their favorite fruit/vegetable/flower
4. Fill a nice jar with slips of paper, each with a reason you appreciate (or love) someone.
5. Voucher for dinner at his/her favorite restaurant.
6. Birds in a bird house/ Fish in a fish bowl/ Or a pet of their choice
7. Subscriptions. For example, one-year favorite magazine subscription.
8. T-shirt with their favorite superhero or their favorite  philosophy
9. Remote control vehicle even if he/ she is grown up
10. Polaroid camera
11. Hundi if he/she loves to save
12. Tracking tile
13. Dancing water speakers
14. Alarm Clock on Wheels which moves when it alarms
15. Art Kit if he/she loves artwork
16. Calendar with their pics for every month’s page
17. 3D paper weight of their image
18.  Swing set or a Bean Bag
19. A day to spend in an Ashram
20. A photo shoot with him/her and making an album out of it
21. Do graffiti in a wall together
22. Day outing at a Country Club resort with your siblings on their birthdays
23. Day outing to an exotic snow resort/ theme park/ themed candle light restaurant along with your loved ones
24. A subscription for classes that they are interested in (Eg: Rhythm and combat/ instrumental)
25. Deep sea diving or Catamaran ride
26. And if you just can’t decide at all, take them for shopping

 I would wish to quote few excerpts from conversations with friends that celebrate the spirit of gift giving and receiving. This yielded in awesome replies some of which were characteristic to the person’s own reflection. I don’t know if I could give justice by narrating exactly what they felt without giving specifics but let me give it a shot.

Moments Matter

Nithin, whose Birthday falls on summer vacation and who has never distributed chocolates, never heard claps or birthday songs; went to school ironically that May, when his 10th results were announced. The walls were made of dusky stone, dimly lit by torches. Empty benches rose on either side of him, but ahead, in the highest benches of all, were many shadowy figures. They had been talking and discussing, as they were skimming through the results. To his disenchantment, one of his teachers came out with the news saying something was wrong!

He then asked, “Did I fail in Social?” She said “No, Nithin, you have just got 69 in Mathematics”

He was speechless with no words to reply cos he had never scored anything less than 90 in his entire 10th standard.

Whenever he found himself feeling claustrophobic, he would go to a ground behind his school. It was the most pacific place he had ever been. Rocks and dirt clods clanged against the benches there and onto the gravel path that led to the ground. He threw the chocolates away and sat there watching gully cricket for hours; the climate was unbearable that day. He felt a bead of sweat slowly drip down his neck and sacrifice itself to the cotton confines of his already-damp birthday shirt.

The only sound he could hear was the guys yelling and arguing on a sticky wicket. He slowly walked to the temple nearby and slept there by afternoon. Time flew and the dark clouds were almost heavy for a downpour.

Out of the blue one of his friends came and woke him calling his name thrice. He had no idea, no clue how he found him there. His friend then got him a soda and dropped him with his cycle, went back to the temple and brought his’ too. At last he gave a greeting card wishing him “Happy Birthday”. Nithin felt a ray of happiness make its way through the vents of his sad mood.

The next day he came to know that the guy who found him scored first marks in the CBSE exams. He then realized that the guy who spent all day searching for him without even reveling is a rare gift himself.

The friendship that he got that day is the best gift anyone could get. “Place and money doesn’t matter when the subject is you and the theme is love and the gift be it anything great or small”, says Nithin.

Sathya- The Secret Angel

When Sathya was a kid growing up in Trichy, he was labeled soft and kind. His teachers never suspected that he was a genius at caring: 2015 will mark the 4thyear anniversary for the team he had set up along with best friend to serve the foster children in Trichy

Sathya is a man of modest means, but each month he sets aside a portion of his paycheck to buy gifts to give the children. “If I hadn’t been a volunteer, I would have missed the best part of my life as a human being. I just want to show these children there is somebody out there in the community who loves them.” His unpretentious example has inspired many juniors to make the ‘Joy of Giving’ a priority.

Twenty-year-old Sathya with his friends, was huddled in front of the lengthy lists, checking out the gifts the children had asked for Christmas

His friends were blown away by his efforts, but doubts quickly emerged. The cost of all those special favors were as high as 80000. They thought they could never raise the money. Nonetheless, all his generous and compassionate friends got together to make the pool of funds. Within three days, checks and cash began arriving. Then word got around about the campaign, and as Christmas neared, more and more donations rolled in. The teen ultimately raised more than 1.5 lakh; enough to pay for all the gifts.

That Christmas Eve, they pulled on a Santa hat and delivered the gifts to all the kids. “This is the best Christmas I ever had,” said a kid from one of that foster homes.

“The smiles that you see in the faces of those kids is the best way to feel the real meaning of happiness”, says Sathya.

Play Cupid

Most of us know that Alexander Graham Bell is the inventor of the telephone and was National Geographic’s second president. But did you know about his romantic love story? In 1873 Alexander fell in love with Mabel when she was only 16, but it was an unreciprocated fancy. Despite her initial disinterest, she began to grow fond of him during his time as her speech teacher and their relationship evolved. In a letter to Mabel on the night of their engagement, Alexander wrote, “I am afraid to fall asleep, lest I should find it all a dream—so I shall lie awake and think of you.” Even though she was deaf, Mabel gave Alexander a piano as a wedding gift and asked that he play for her every day.

But even if the gifts didn't prove to be a match, there’s still this little lot of momentous situations where you can play Cupid to… We would probably cringe at every attempt to wow the opposite sex with horribly cheesy one-liners, but there’s no denying that each one of us would have our fair share of success stories.

A colleague of mine who is a writer of the modern era felt the book called “The Alchemist” is the best gift one can give on somebody for a lifetime.

One of my friends who studied in the so called IIM quoted with facts and figures that a study has recently showed most of the men wish for materialistic gifts while girls crave for gifts of experience showing that girl’s attachment to materialistic gifts is a fallacy.

Each one has their own way of expressing compassion through gifts. At the upshot if you are able to get an answer “Yes” to the question “Did you make them feel special?!” then you have succeeded in your mission.

“I believe that each reader creates his own film inside his head, gives faces to the characters, constructs every scene, hears the voices, smells the smells when he reads a story”, says Paulo Coelho.

Similarly a gift reflects your soul. Open your heart and hear its voice.

My first boss

As I reflect on what I’m grateful for over the past year, there is one person who stands out to me: my boss, Jagannath Bhashyam (I like to call him Jags). Last year right around this time, I graduated from my college and chose to work (Thanks to my parents for respecting my choice). It’s not all rainbows and unicorns, but it is striking to me how much more fulfilled I am now. Truth be told, a lot of that has to do with my boss who loves trains and google maps (which is of substantial interest to me as well).

I won’t mention specifics, but as we talk I realize how important it is for people early in their careers to have a great boss.

During the first few years of your working life you have much to learn:

· How do I get things done?

· Should I mimic or copy behaviours of others?

· How hard should I work?

· Should I speak up in meetings?

· Even something as important as... What should I wear?

Early in my career this was all very stressful. Of course I wanted to succeed - but I wasn’t sure how. My advice is to be yourself (that’s what I did). But in the meantime, it often comes down to having a great boss.

To be honest, I’m not the easiest girl to manage (People call DRB which says Dhivya “Rebel” Bharathy). I act on my instincts 90% of the time, and that translates to obsessive and crazy swings of both innovative ideas and moods. But he manages. Here’s one of the things I love most about the way he manages me: He pretty much leaves me alone. He knows I’m incredibly driven and he lets me do what he wants me to do. He knows I’ll make his projects my projects and do my best.

1. He rarely gave criticism but always helped.

His philosophy was to give great advice, help us succeed, and always work as a team. I looked up to him and always "copied" what he did to make myself better. The few times he gave me specific advice, I really listened.

2. He took us with him.

He was the type of manager who would always take someone junior with him on the big proposal call. He drove a Wagon R (he had it for 8 years now and it looks just as new as it could be) and he would drop me at home, when there are extended work hours

3. He took care of us.

Jags was the kind of person who always worried if someone wasn't in the office or had a problem with the proposals. He wasn't interested in our personal lives that much, but he sure cared if we had any problems.

4. He was fun.

Jags really was a fun-loving person, and even though he intimated almost everyone, he always told a joke at just the right time. He knew that even though we had a huge quota and a million problems to solve every day, it was all part of the game.

5. He went home on time, usually.

Believe it or not, in those days we worked incredibly hard but we rarely stayed in the office past 10. We had an enormous job but we got it done in 50-55 or so hours a week. It set the tempo that we were all expected to get stuff done without staying all night.

6. He’s the best damn networker I’ve ever seen.

The guy’s got connections. He’s got connections upon connections. Why? Because he works at it. It’s one of the reasons I have tremendous respect for him. This is important beyond just personal admiration. Why? Because it’s what will make our company thrive.

If you can find a "Jags" early in your career, you're very lucky. Do whatever you can to find this kind of manager early in your career.

I also know he’s not the only good boss out there. There are lots of helpful, caring, loyal, devoted, funny, supportive, skilled, classy managers. Maybe you work for one. Maybe you’re one of them. If you're a manager, remember you can "be Jags" Consider it an awesome responsibility. You could possibly impact someone for the rest of their life. So to all the great bosses out there, just in case you don’t get a note like this one, I’d like to say a big fat thank you.

Since he is retiring from job I dedicate this note to him cos he is not only a great leader but a man to be remembered.